story time when i was 16 my mom and i were watching ellen and my mom says
‘oh look my favorite lesbian!’
and i said ‘i thought i was your favorite lesbian?’
and she just stared at me for a moment and said
‘oh ok. ‘
and we just continued watching
and thats how i came out to my mother
so y’all know how I knit penises, right?
well I apparently left my knitting stuff out last night, and Hobbes inevitably got into it
and so I look down as he’s passing by AND HE HAS A PENIS HANGING OUT HIS MOUTH
AND THEN HE SAW THAT I SPOTTED HIM AND HE BOLTED DOWN THE HALLWAY
GUYS I JUST HAD TO CHASE MY CAT BECAUSE HE STOLE MY PENIS
why am i laughing so hard
all the best sentences start out with “so y’all know how I knit penises, right?”
12/21: the end of the world
12/22: i survived to the end of the world
12/24: tomorrow is christmas
12/25: today is christmas
12/31: i’m gonna sleep in 2012 and wake up in 2013
01/01/2013: i remember 2012 like it was yesterday
i can’t stop reblogging miranda kerr. sorry not sorry.
i don’t think anybody minds, its freeking miranda kerr, shes hella gorg. mkay bye
